It is also the month many on social media call "Gratitude Month" which means, essentially, that people list daily what they are 'thankful' for during the month of November.
This year it struck me as ironic....the very month people daily list what they are 'Thankful' for is the very month many epilepsy foundations try to increase awareness about seizures and those living with them.
Like so many living with a chronic disorder my "Daily Gratitude List" might looks a little different to most. For instance, it goes without saying I'm thankful for my family however, I am thankful for my family because:
1. Without them I would have zero life. At all. I would be confined to a bed or have to have a stranger come and watch me daily.
2. Without them most likely, I wouldn't be alive. They have rushed me to the hospital while doing CRP because my medications weren't breaking down properly. A few times they knew to continue to argue with the doctors that the new medication was NOT a good idea, the side effects weren't worth the possible benefit.
3. They are willing to be with me no matter what I look like, if I've had a seizure on the floor and sit in a daze beside them or, if I have had a rough couple of days and simply want to get out (even if I'm in an exhausted state and look like I've been run over).
4. I'm grateful that they have been around me so long that when words fail to connect from my misfiring brain in order to make it out of my mouth they step in and ease my frustration, beginning the 'guessing game' with the details and hand gestures I provide.
Physically my list might look like this:
1. I am grateful I have gone 3 days without a seizure.
2. So, SO, so thankful while in public my bladder was empty when I had the seizure.
3. I'm especially thankful that I can still walk, woggle (cross between a jog and walk), read, talk, and type-- many with epilepsy lose that ability due to the nature of the seizures.
4. Although I complain about my 'ample' thighs and butt, it has saved me from broken bones many a time (also, for an extra hard head....I've had very few concussions over the years--mainly due to my families diligence but I will give credit to my noggin too).
Most of all...I am thankful I got 'over myself' and refused to allow my disorder to control my life...I refuse to hide in my house in the (likely) chance I will have a seizure. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable...but, that is for another post so, I won't go down that road...
I'm thankful, not for the disorder, but learning to live despite it.
